PROFILE:
b. 1965
Occupation ARTIST
AN OLD FRIEND OF HIS ONCE SAID, "YOU WOULDN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THIS GUY UNLESS YOU'D KNOWN HIM A LONG TIME". FEW PEOPLE HAVE. HE IS ESSENTIALLY AN ILLUSIVE AND ANTISOCIAL CHARACTER BUT HE CAN BE ENDEARING AT TIMES. IN THE PAST HE HAS HYPNOTISED AUDIENCES AT ART AUCTIONS MAKING THEM SPEND SMALL FORTUNES ON WORKS TOO HIDEOUS TO DESCRIBE. CURATORS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO ADDRESS HIM AS JESUS CHRIST. PRODUCERS OF TV COMMERCIALS INVOLUNTARILLY SHOUT "ACTION!" WHENEVER HE WANDERS ONTO SET. STILL, HE WOULD RATHER KILL YOU THAN TALK TO YOU; WOULD RATHER PHOTOGRAPH YOU NAKED COLD AND COMPROMISED IN AN ABANDONED BICYCLE SHED THAN SELL YOU HIS SKILLS AND SERVICES. AS AN ARTIST HIS ABILITIES ARE FORMIDABLE IN THE FIELDS OF IMPROVISED SPEECH MAKING, WRITING, DIRECTING THEATRE, PHOTOGRAPHY, PAINTING, DRAWING, SCULPTURE AND SEDUCTION. HIS PASSIONS INCLUDE DRIFTING ALONG THE BEACH ALONE AT NIGHT, COOKING AND EATING THE FLESH OF UNEXPECTED FAUNA AND CHALLENGING WORK COLLEAGUES TO DUELS - OCCASIONS THAT FREQUENTLY END IN TEARS. HE IS ALSO DEDICATED TO THE STUDY OF THE HISTORY OF SOCIAL DEMOCRACY. IN MANNER HE DISPLAYS ALL THE AFFECTATIONS OF NINETEENTH CENTURY ARISTOCRACY. HE IS 6'2" TALL, BLONDE, BLUE-EYED, SLIM, FIT, IS SLOWLY GOING BLIND WITH GLAUCOMA AND HAS A SLIGHT LIMP FROM FELCHINTON'S DISEASE. HE IS CURRENTLY WORKING ON AN EXHIBITION OF RELIGIOUS WORKS ON HUMAN SKIN AND IS LOOKING FOR BURNT-OUT WAREHOUSES TO EXHIBIT FROM. IN SHORT, HE IS ONE OF THOSE INTOLERABLE GENIUSES YOU OFTEN HEAR ABOUT AND HOPE NEVER TO MEET FACE TO FACE.
("Hi. Thanks for the profile, um, Inspyr is a socially-orientated concept with a positive approach to networking artists. I noticed you have cc'd to a friend so perhaps your 'having us on,' not sure if we are what your looking for. Tanya" ----- Original Message ----- From: <"origin"> To: <"inspyr_melbourne@yahoo.com.au"> Cc: "W." Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 12:33 PM Subject: profile as requested)
POST SCRIPT: THAT HURTS, TANYA.